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“Creativity [and growth] requires the courage to let go of certainties. – Erich Fromm
“Uncertainty is the fertile ground of creativity, of true fulfillment.” Internationally known physician and philosopher, Depak Chopra, The 7 Spiritual Laws of Success (2007)
My daughter was headed to her first sleepaway camp. On our two-hour drive out there she said, “I hate the butterflies in my tummy.” Trying to choke back my own tears and fears, I remembered of all people, Barishnikov.
Mickhail Baryshnikov was in his prime when I was a teenager. Even my young and untrained eye could tell that I was witnessing pure magic when I first saw him perform. He was not classically handsome to view at face value, but once you saw him dance, you couldn’t help but be in awe of his beauty, and he never looked the same to me again. My friends and I all had puppy love crushes on him. He was and is unforgettable. So, now at 40, driving down the street, I perked up one evening when I heard his name announced on an NPR program. He is out promoting his latest venture – acting in a series of four plays by Samuel Beckett. As if being the one of the world’s greatest ballet dancers of all time was not enough for a fulfilling life. Becoming a movie and television actor and a recognized photographer, writing a best-selling book, and building a business have filled Barishnikov’s post-dance life. The interviewer had the same question that was running through my mind. “When’s enough, enough?” Barishnikov’s genius shines through in his response. (I paraphrase now as I was driving at the time). Completely ignoring the naivety of the question, he answered with sweeping insight:
I love the butterflies. That feeling you get when you are putting yourself out there on the edge. I want to push myself to the edge. The butterflies signal I am there – at that place of divine insecurity. When you put yourself out there fully and completely. Only then can you truly fulfill your destiny.
Divine insecurity.
Certainly divinity is not at all what my daughter had in mind on her first trip away from the comfort and safety of her parents’ nest for the first time. But maybe it should be. How many of us get to that edge and back away? I told her (and of course now continue to remind myself), “The butterflies are your friends. They are telling you to be wary and pay attention. What you have to figure out is when are they warning you of danger and when are they telling you that something magical is about to happen.”
As caregivers, not only do we have our own butterflies, but we intensely feel our loved ones’ anxiety too. We must be especially vigilant at questioning when we have an opportunity to let those we have charge of manage their own divine insecurity in order that they fulfill their destiny, and not ours. |
